Our Tucker

I can hardly believe my baby Tucker is almost 4 months old already and he seems to develop a new skill almost daily. His neck muscles keep his head up well and his abdominal muscles continue to strengthen so that he will sit upright in my arms steadily most of the time (although he can't be trusted not to tip over quite yet). Lying down, you can see him try to crunch his abs to sit up to no avail but he can hold my fingers and I can pull him into a sitting position. He recently got into the excersaucer and loves it, even managing to push buttons to make animal sounds to his surprise and delight. He tracks objects with his eyes and movements of his head. Though he grabs fingers tightly he doesn't grab objects but does bat at hanging toys. His favorite people are definitely mom, dad and Harrison, as he will give us big smiles whenever he greets us. Without a doubt, he looks very much like his daddy.

This past week I started reading short books to him before nap time and consistently read "The Little Blue Truck" and now when I sit him down he smiles when he sees the book and I start reading! To help Harrison feel more included I asked him to join us in the rocking chair when we read and he enjoys this time with us even if they are short "baby books" with few words.

Tucker gives huge smiles and lots of laughs and brings us so much joy. He still has such a sweet disposition, really only cries when he is tired or hungry but even then it is mostly a whine. Tucker is super cuddly and happy after a meal, full of smiles and "goos" and it is mom and dad's favorite time with him during the day.

Harrison is so funny, he speaks in this ear piercing high pitched voice and uses it to pretend to be Tucker talking to us. Even funnier, he will dialogue between himself and Tucker, something like this:

"Tucker": wahhh, I want to put this little toy in my mouth!

Harrison: no, no Tucker, you can't have it you will choke, and then you will get sick and have to go to the hopstibal (hospital).

Tucker and I drop off and pick up Harrison at school twice a week and when we arrive all the other kids run up behind Harrison and say "hiiii bay-beeee Tuck-errrrr" in a cute, super drawn out way. They all want to say hi or look or touch him (which they are forbidden to do, ack, the germs!) and they are all oh so sweet. Harrison relishes in the fact that he is the only one that gets to give Tucker hugs, kisses and gently strokes his head as they greet.

updated: 12/21/12

November

After Halloween things slowed down  until the week prior to Thanksgiving; dad took Harrison on a trip to Denver to visit good friends and cheer on the Huskies to a victory over Colorodo.

While the big boys were away, mom and Tucker had a date with Auntie Chyna for dim sum and bubble tea and enjoyed the rainy, blustery afternoon together.

About the same time Tucker also turned 3 months old, he's getting so big so fast!

Despite having my hands full, I did manage to get the kids coordinating Christmas jammies and take their picture in anticipation of our annual Christmas card. This was the winner, coming soon to a mailbox near you! Of course I couldn't get them both to smile.

Thanksgiving was spent and Aunt Shivonne and Uncle John's house and auntie Chyna got to come as well since she stayed in town for the long weekend. The evening was nice, warm and full of family but alas, no photos. Chyna spent the rest of the weekend at our home and we enjoyed having her around, especially me. She kindly agreed to babysit for an evening while we went to out for a few hours to a comedy club with friends and poor thing was stuck with a crying baby that I was sure would not wake up! After a quick call to me, she rocked the baby back to sleep and also got Harrison put down to bed, what a pro. 

I just found a list I jotted down, verbatim, of all the things Harrison said he was thankful for: 

• cereal
• pumpkins
• yummy food
• for the food I eat
• toys
• the things for my birthday
• Spiderman, Captain America and the other guy that flies (Iron Man) and all the other super heroes

Something random Harrison said that was cute: one day he told me that I am "pretty like a sister, but you're a mommy." Puzzled, I asked him what he meant  and he said something about a stitch; after some deciphering I realized he meant that, in referring to the movie "Lilo & Stitch," he thought I am pretty like Lilo's sister. I think he means that she is pretty and Hawaiian and he thinks I am pretty and look Hawaiian. 

This also reminds me of when we were watching ESPN's coverage of the Nathan's hot dog eating contenst (on July 4), women's division, when my three year old blurts out, "she looks like mommy!" Luckily the national champ hadn't started eating yet otherwise I might have more in common with her than just a passing resemblance (I was pregnant at the time). You be the judge.

Halloween

This year for Halloween, I asked Harrison what he would like to be and offered the suggestion of pirate to which he enthusiastically agreed to. Call me manipulative but even though he loves Spiderman I didn't suggest any super heroes because I wanted my little boy to be cute one more year before begging for a super commercialized bad guy vanquishing hero costume. It was also nice he didn't have the same costume every other boy had, especially since they were readily available at Costco.

Harrison and mom went to his gym for a Halloween party and met up with his gym friends for rounds and rounds of games such as fishing at the witch pond and throwing bean bags at bats for prizes. He was not on his best behavior that day and I was super frustrated with him at dinner time and threatened not to take him but all of that melted away on the drive there when he said several times (slowly), "I'm so excited!" while he balled up his fists, tensed up and shook slightly with excitement and anticipation.

Halloween night mom stayed home with Tucker on doorbell duty while dad and Harrison went around the neighborhood twice! Harrison's favorite phrase was "ahoy mateys, ARRRG!"

This last mummy picture I had to include because he had this same shirt in orange when he was 9 months old.

Farm Days

Ack I am two months behind on posts so this will be short on commentary and more about the photos. In early October we made our annual visit to The Farm but it was still warm and sunny which did not make for my favorite idyllic fall photos as it was too warm to wear sweaters and the sun was shining in our eyes causing squinting. Harrison had fun as Lilah and Gavin's families also came but we decided to skip the pumpkin patch that day.

A couple weeks later we were going to run by the supermarket for pumpkins and then decided to drive the extra 10 miles to real patches and then last minute drove the extra mile to Craven Farm and just do this thing right. It was severally overcast, threatening to rain, gusty winds and cold - it was almost perfect for photos! The last photo here I had made into a canvas, it is so precious!

Back By Popular Demand

Team Fein is back! Where to begin after a month hiatus... I think I will start with a general update on the kids and then go back and hit highlights (I know you all want to see Halloween photos).

At exactly 10 weeks old, Tucker slept through the night [insert chorus of singing angles here]. Although one night of sleep does not a sane mother make. He is now 12.5 weeks old and he has slept through the night for about two weeks straight. We're talking 10:30pm - 7:00am folks, so yes I am starting to regain a shred of sanity. It is such a change from Harrison, who I let eat and sleep on demand Le Leche League style, and I was rewarded with multiple middle of the night wake ups until he was nine months old; out of desperation we finally let him cry it out. For Tucker we are using the "Baby Wise" method and life has some structure and most importantly sleep for everyone in the family.

Tucker started smiling and cooing around 9 weeks; few things makes me as happy as his smiling little face, especially in the morning when his sleepy eyes open wide and shine as he greets me with a big, toothless smile.

Tucker has a very chill disposition and only cries when he is tired or uncomfortable, otherwise he will sit in his bouncy chair or kick back in his floor gym or just watch what is going on around him. Surprisingly he rarely takes a pacifier anymore, Harrison was probably 9 months when he kicked the habit.

Harrison loves his "Tuckey" and enjoys running ahead of me to Tucker's room so he can open the door, turn on the light, stand on his stool he leaves next to the crib, then lean in and detach the two velcro tabs that hold the swaddle in place. If Tucker is crying, Harrison will next pat him and reassure him that "it's alright Tuckey."

When I drop off and pick up Harrison at school, the eight other kids in class all meet us at the door and ask to see Tucker; they also know my rule is they may not touch him (oh the germs!). While the kids fawn over the baby, proud big brother, who is exempt from the no-touching policy, practically crawls into the car seat carrier and rubs cheeks with his little bro and gives him a little squeeze of love. Although he doesn't play with Tucker, some days when I put Tucker down for a nap Harrison will sigh and say, "I just miss my Tuckey."

Harrison's made a huge leap forward in his bike riding skills. When he was just over 2 years old we bought him a Strider balance bike, which is a light weight bike without pedals; the kiddo sits on the seat and push with their feet and learns to balance on a bike first. Harrison is the neighborhood all star on his Strider, zooming around faster than anyone can run next to him and whipping around corners.

Earlier this summer dad and Harrison bought a new peddle bike, however we had to put the training wheels back on because we realized he had trouble peddling the bike because he had never learned how to peddle in the first place!  We borrowed a pink princess tricycle from friends but it was so small he could barely get it to move. So for the last few months dad has patiently taught him how to peddle, how to stand up for more force to push down on peddles to start or go up an incline, and also how to brake by pushing back on the peddles (with the Strider he would drag his feet on the ground, he wore holes into two pair of shoes!). On October 28th all their hard work and practice paid off!

In this video you will see our friend Gavin riding his Strider bike which should give you a good comparison.

Another step forward for Harrison, and for us as parents, is that he is settling in to life with a sibling. The first 8 weeks were rough. While Harrison was always sweet, gentle and loving to Tucker he acted out in unexpected ways to gain our attention. The biggest struggle was with sleep, which was already happening in the summer but got worse after Tucker was born. He refused to nap and wouldn't stay in his room for quiet time. He wouldn't stay in his room at bed time, he was begging to come out, keep his door open, turn on lights... I am ashamed to say that in our frustration (exasperated by lack of sleep and stress) we yelled at him often and locked him in a few times for a couple minutes; long enough for him to kick at the door, wail and throw breakable objects in his room. This was not our child and these mean people were not his parents.

Around week 8, I had life under a bit more control and was able to give Harrison more attention, letting the dirty dishes sit so I could play with him for a few minutes while Tucker was sleeping. We slowly worked out the bed time kinks and now he stays in his room when we say good night (usually).

An unintended issue developed after we left for the hospital while Harrison was asleep and woke to find us missing; Harrison suddenly became super attached and refused to go anywhere without us. He refused to play with friends at the park or even next door at Gavin's house unless one of us was with him. At bedtime, he would ask me questions and demand detailed answers about what I would be doing while he was in bed. If I said I would be in my bedroom, he would come out of his room to check that I was there. If I instead went downstairs to watch tv with dad, we would find him asleep on the floor upstairs in a corner where he can just barely see us sitting on the couch.

He never clearly expressed that he was afraid of abandonment but around week 10 we were all in the car when Harrison said, out of nowhere, "don't go to the hospital again and leave me while I am sleeping." We promised we wouldn't and that was it, he had nothing else to say on the matter.

Although he loves the Little Gym, he didn't want to go in "without" me because suddenly my seat behind the window just wasn't secure enough for him. Heck, I took Tucker into the bathroom to change a diaper during class, which entailed us walking through the gym in from of him, and he broke into a wailing, crying fit as if I had abandoned him.

Now he and I have a deal. Went we to four gym classes and he did not cry (or have any breakdowns) and he earned a Little Gym water bottle; he and I are so proud of his accomplishment. He is now working towards a Little Gym Frisbee. Hey, I'm not above bribery, whatever works! Still a little weary, he will check in with me and ask where I will be but he doesn't physically cling to me anymore.

A positive side effect of the baby is that Harrison and dad have formed a really tight bond since dad spent most of his free time with Harrison while I was recovering from the C-section and taking care of baby. Daily Harrison tells me he misses his daddy while he is at work and he was sad when dad left for three days for business in Salt Lake City. This weekend the two of them are together in Denver visiting friends and cheering on our beloved huskies at the game. Harrison was reluctant to go without me and Tucker but I hear he is having a great time there.

Whew, that was a long update, I didn't realize the progress that was made until I had to type it all out; I didn't even get to all the fun stuff we've been up to. Next post, I promise pictures at The Farm and Halloween.

Tucker's Stats

During Tucker's 2 month check up the nurse and doctor were pleasingly surprised to find that Tucker and grown in length considerably. He grew from 18.5" to 24.6" -or- from the 6th percentile for his age group to the 94th percentile! Also, considering he lost nearly a full pound from his birth weight those first few days and we had to force feed him formula to keep him from being readmitted to the hospital, he weighed in at 12.14 lbs or 59%.

My friend who is a nutritionist at Seattle Children's Hospital said that my nurse's method of laying baby on the tissue paper and marking the paper at head and toe is very inaccurate since babies squirm. With that in mind, I can vouch that his eating and sleeping patterns had reflected a growth spurt and almost overnight he could not stretch his legs out in his footie jammies. Looking at his weight gain I would I presume the length can't be that far off. I held his head as she measured and thought we did well. If it is off, we should see a drop at his next check up after Christmas.

Coming Soon to a Mail Box Near You

Hanging with my boys

Well, I am blogging when I have the energy, photos and quiet time to do it, so you can see that doesn't happen to often; you may also notice my writing lacks some of the humor, wit and even clarity due to sleep deprivation and "mommy brain". I will also admit that I haven't taken too many photos of Tucker and when we do it is hard to get a good one.

Tucker is now 7.5 weeks old and has started to wake up once per night most nights (at 3:30am, but he goes to bed around 11pm and his morning wake up is 6am). This has allowed me sleep in 3 hour stretches (woo hoo!) and our daytime routine is more predictable. Since mom is feeling a little more like normal in terms of energy, we go out and do things when possible.

Last week we made a trip inside the bank so that Harrison could make his first deposit into his savings account himself. When grandpa visited in mid September, he gave Harrison $5 which we agreed to put in the big bank (rather than in his little ceramic lamb bank). I showed Harrison his special deposit slips, I filled it out and had him write his "H" on the front. At the bank he took it to the teller and happily redeemed his receipt along with a Spiderman sticker. Huh, I deposited many times more than $5 and I didn't get any stickers. In any case, Harrison has made many trips through the bank's drive thru with me so he was excited to do this himself.

Even on days we get out and do something, there is a lot of time spent hanging out as it seems like someone always needs to eat and Tucker still sleeps pretty often. Harrison really like to use the small digital camera so I let him shoot away and occasionally we get some good photos (I did take the last one):

Since Harrison was born, dad has been plotting planning on getting him on snow skis. After talking to me forever, as I was not terribly keen on sticking my little guy on waxed up boards and letting him fly down a hill, I finally relented to let dad sign him up for "Powder Pigs" this season; Michael took lessons with Powder Pigs as a kid and he was thrilled to find the same woman still runs the program. Harrison said he didn't want to ski (only sled) but we think it is because he doesn't really understand how much fun is involved so dad shows him photos and videos of kids skiing and now his enthusiasm is building.

Last weekend dad and Harrison went to the Alpine Hut to rent gear for the winter. On the drive down, Harrison announced that he wanted red skis and upon arrival the sales dude was able to find the perfect pair.   In our garage we now have these little skis leaning against the wall next to dad's big ones next to my snowboard, it's just cute. My poor board hasn't been ridden in four seasons and by the time I get around to it Harrison will probably be big enough to ride it!

Tucker's Pinterest Nursery

Earlier in the year I discovered Pinterest and found a lot of things that inspired or even tutored me when planning Tucker's nursery. With Harrison's nursery, I had a lot of plans but not a lot of time to make it "just so." Also, I'm not much of a decorator but I feel I did a pretty good job with this room so this post exists mostly to pat myself on the back. I included links to any tutorials, websites or inspirational pictures that helped me along the way.

Wall Decal: I searched Etsy after seeing similar ones on Pinterest and found this one with a brown tree and used it to inspire the decor of the room. I meant to paint the walls a darker gray and with the dark furniture, I had the vendor change the tree to white. I think it still looks good.

Elephant Artwork: Made with Mod Podge, magazine photos and orange paint

Changing Pad Cover: Alas this was one of the first fabrics I bought and I didn't realize the green was so neon; other than the color it turned out great (I made two!)

Bumper Pad: actually it's not a bumper pad since those are not recommended, but a mesh cover. This used to be Harrison's (bought after he stuck a leg out the crib one night, fell asleep and woke up screaming in pain!); it used to have a white satin-like trim. I picked out all the stitching, learned how to and made orange bias tape and replaced the trim.

Bed Skirt: Although I didn't find any great tutorials, several women mentioned they had made adjustable bed skirts by making three separate panels with ties that can be tied further up the crib springs as you lower the mattress as baby gets bigger. This was my first sewing project for the room and it turned out perfect.

Mobile: Probably my shining moment in terms of the most complicated thing I did without a tutorial. A friend gave me the original bear mobile (below) and after seeing some cute but crazy expensive mobiles online, I decided I could so it myself. So I stripped it down to just the plastic parts and sewed a new green arm cover, tenting and made the ornaments with felt and embroidery thread. It was a lot of hours but I did most of it in front of the tv.

Light Switch Cover: Decoupaged scrapbook paper, so easy and looks great! I covered the outlets too and also did some Cat in the Hat ones for the kids bathroom. 

T is for Tucker Wall Decal: another find on etsy as I trolled through the decal section

Green Chevron Throw Pillow: I made this myself without a tutorial. Well, actually I used this tutorial to learn to make the gray piping (I also made tiny orange piping for the mobile). I also read several tutorials on how to install an invisible zipper which I deemed all too difficult for an inpatient woman 32 weeks pregnant so I rigged it to work and I don't think it will break... 

Moby-type Wrap: I did not have a Moby carrier with Harrison but once I found how easy and cheap they were to make I decided, why not? And with one cut of fabric you can actually make two so if I use it a lot I have a back up and if not one of my several pregnant friends may find one in a gift bag sometime soon.

Introducing Tucker Liam Fein

Tuesday, August 21st began like most Tuesdays with me driving Harrison to preschool in the morning. I was miserably large, still having mild contractions and upset that my C-Section was scheduled for September 14th (3.5 weeks away). As we made the five minute drive, I was turning over possible middle names for the baby in my head.

We had been completely stymied on a middle name with really no prospects until I suddenly had an epiphany in the car. Harrison Jay was named after his father Michael Jay, who was named after his father Earl Jay Fein and so we had agreed that I would try to find a middle name that honored my side of our family. If baby had been a girl, her middle name would likely have been some form of "Lea" since I am Raina Leah and my mother's Chinese name is Wai-Li but we weren't crazy about "Lee" for a boy. We had considered "Mapel" but didn't think it fit with the possible first names we liked. Then it suddenly dawned on me that if you mashed-up Lee and Mapel you get "Liam".

After school, Michael met us at the soccer field where Harrison enjoys a soccer skills class and I ran the idea of "Liam" passed him. Yes, it was likely a keeper, certainly the best idea we had come up with thus far. A short time later we drove home for dinner.

In the middle of dinner, I suddenly felt a sharp pang which was odd but not totally uncommon as I was constantly uncomfortable and with the baby in a breech position (practically standing up inside me!) I often hurt in one way or another. Then it happened again a few minutes later. When it happened a third time, Michael and I both looked at each other and had the same thought: these could be real labor contractions. Michael turned to me and asked, "do we have hospital bags packed yet" to which I replied we did not. We faked calmness for the rest of dinner for Harrison's sake and then made a call to the hospital's Triage. Since I could not definitely say the contractions were less than five minutes apart, they said I needed to "wait and see."

At this point it was near 8pm so I decided despite the discomfort, I would record the time and length of each contraction while Michael packed bags for us and Harrison just in case we had to go to the hospital. I pulled out Harrison's baby photo book and showed him pictures of the day he was born and talked about how when baby was ready we would go to the hospital while grandma stayed with Harrison. Meanwhile Michael texted his parents to put them on alert and then the three of us read books in bed with Harrison and put him to bed. This was really important to me to "give" this to him since it was starting to look like Harrison would no longer be the baby of the family very soon.

Once bedtime was completed, it was very obvious that I was having full blown contractions and they had gone from 6 -7 minutes apart to 4-5 minutes apart and lasted 60-90 seconds each. Our neighbor Jared came over and stayed in the living room while Harrison slept since grandmama needed another hour or so to get to our house. Then we made the 15 minute drive to Providence Regional Hospital in Everett.

While there was still a possibility of a false alarm or perhaps more of that awful medication to stop contractions, we thought we should have a baby name ready, just in case. For months we had been down to just two or three names but we needed to agree quick. Between contractions we agreed that we liked "Tucker Liam" however we had one more hurdle. One of our best friends, Aaron, has a father who goes by the name Tucker, and Aaron and his wife are pregnant with a little boy. Mid drive Michael dials up Aaron and says something to this effect: Dude, we are driving to the hospital, we think we might have this baby tonight. Speaking of, are you naming your kid Tucker? If not, do you care if we use it? Great, thanks, bye.

After checking into Triage they strapped on fetal monitors and checked my progress. It turned out I was about 4 cm dialated and 100% effaced, in other words this baby was coming! No false contractions, no meds to stop them even though I was only 36.5 weeks, this baby was on the way. After a quick ultrasound to check the position of the baby, they confirmed they would prep me for a C-section.

At this point Michael asked if it would be a good time to the move the car and the nurse replied yes, he should do that while they started to make arrangements. He grabbed the car keys and went down stairs then, as he tells it, he spent the next ten minutes driving around the parking garage, looking for the *perfect* space, then another five minutes getting our bags and walking back to the building. When he finally pulled back the curtain at my bedside, they shoved scrubs into his arms and I told him I had already met and spoken to the doctor and anesthesiologist! Neither of us had anticipated that this would move so quickly.

As they wheeled me into the operating room, I must have moved into the next stage of labor because I got the "labor shakes" which I also experienced with Harrison at about 5cm. Basically I began shaking uncontrollably, kind of like getting the shivers but amplified almost to epileptic proportions (at least that's what it feels like to me). It messes with my mind emotionally as I don't like the feeling of being out of control and when the anesthesiologist needs to insert a giant needle that could potentially paralyze  me, it freaks me out and I start crying which makes the shaking worse. At this point I am by myself as they don't let Michael in until my spinal block is in place so he isn't there to help calm me down. I did have some wonderful nurses that helped me through it.

Once Michael was in the room and I was strapped to the table with the anesthesiologist behind my head, she also said some really nice things to help calm me down. My favorite was "I can give you something to relax you, but you may find it hard to remember some of what is happening." Um, YES, I definitely want some of that! And for the record, I don't think I have forgotten anything important (Michael says I asked what floor we were on, twice, but who cares?).

Once calm I was able to fully appreciate the sensation of about five minutes pulling and pressure as they cut and stretched open my abdomen; I hadn't anticipated that I would be able to feel that much and that freaked me out a bit too, but at that point the sweet, sweet medicine had kicked in.

Since Michael and I could not see past the surgical curtain draped over my chest, the birth moment was less dramatic then when Harrison was born as we didn't know when it was happening. Without warning we suddenly heard the sweet cry of our little boy. Tucker Liam Fein was born on Tuesday, August 21, 2012 at 11:17pm, 6 pounds 13 ounces, 19 inches long. Blue  eyes and his hair is a bit blonde!

After a quick cleaning, he was handed to Michael who promptly placed Tucker next to my face so we could somewhat nuzzle. It was a little frustrating that my arms were strapped down to the table in a crucifiction type pose because I really wanted to hold my baby boy; it was probably the worst part of the surgery (in terms of the birth), touching cheeks isn't the same thing.

Well Tucker, that's the story of the night you were born. From the first pangs of pain around 6:15pm you were born just five hours later. I won't be one of those moms that gives you guilt by telling you about the terrible pain and scar the c-section left (let's just say it was a full four weeks before I could walk to our park and back without any pain at all), because in the end you were definitely worth it.